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Help for Those Trapped in the Domestic Violence Cycle
So NOW Whaddya Want Me to Do?

So here you are, lookin' for help online......GOOD for YOU !
So now what? D'ya like where your life has brought you now?
Figurin' out what to do next?

GREAT !

So WHAT IS IT ?

IF that is the place where this moment finds you....you are in just the right spot. It is time to look at your situation. And as mad as you might be about it. Look at it this way: YOU COULD BE FIGURING OUT THE SAME THINGS FROM BEHIND BARS. It's just that simple.

Because if you're still fuming over what she did, you aren't there yet. as Blain Nelson will tell you, he has been there too. And as he has lived to NOW tell you, Denial Ain't That Long River in Egypt.

There IS help out there. But first you have to want to receive it. If you find yourself open to growing, then you have made it across that river, and into the promised land. Because life really can be better than this. And this is YOUR chance to show just who you truly are. You are no longer living in the world of what you shoulda, coulda, oughta...but were unable to BE.

You now have a chance to grow. Part of that growth will involve looking past what "might" have happened, or "normally" happened; and looking within to see what needs weren't being met by YOURSELF, along your path called life, your life, no one else's.

No one made you do anything. Whatever she did, you had the choice to leave. Whatever was NOT working out in your life, you had a chance to fix. But guess what? NOW is your time. This is your OPPORTUNITY to change those things. THIS is your time to fix the things which need to be different. And this is the TIME to learn coping skills, to learn how to love yourself, so that you don't need someone else to do that for you.

So this is the TIME FOR YOU. Time for you to love yourself, time to heal and above all, a time to mend. Because if you hadn't, or don't, and she leaves, the probability of you ending up without a chance to grow, are altogether too high!

One woman per day in our nation is killed at the hands of the one who loved her. Love is so powerful that it can bring us to that end. Passion takes us down paths we prefer not to take. But you have a chance to prevent this. This is your time to grow into the man who knows love is not Power and Control.

And love never means telling her what to do, even if you think it is. If you need to see it this way, then you need to rethink the relationship. Healthy relationships are built, not dictated. It is just that simple.

Are you willing to help create that change which is needful? Conflicts will always occur. The choice on how they are resolved, THAT is up to you. It takes two to create a healthy plan.

Working together may be a new concept. But ask yourself if you prefer to be loved because YOU told her to? Would she really have anything to offer you? Or would you rather be loved for who you are, and because she CHOOSES to, or is it chooses you? The choice is yours.

Wanna try swimmin the that Long Egptian River called Denial? If not, read on. It doesn't really matter to you, what she does. Her choices are hers. Which ones will you be making?

Reading this was a very good step. In fact, there are Twelve Steps you can use, to help get your life back. Try them for a few weeks, and see ...... they just may be the pathway out.....and in case you're wondering, yes, there are Twelve Steps for her as well.

Copyright November 4, 1999


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